Medical Vs. Spiritual

So the best blog posts for me seem to be the ones that fire me up or melt me down.

Over the weekend I had this patient who has a poor prognosis from many doctors, he is constantly restless, anxious, in pain, is on a vent among many other issues.
    So sometimes we have a group of people that come to meet with the family to discuss realistic goals of care and quality of life, even comfort measures. They are great people that mean the best for the patient. But from the families perspective I can see how it would be a hard thing to discuss. Generally it is cause the patient will not greatly improve, and sometimes they will.
   There was this scenerio with the patient as described as above and this group of doctors met with this wife. She (to put it nicely) was not very educated and took this group of people to the extreme. She went from crying to angry. (kinda a cool to see a text book reaction)  I was trying to explain to someone who might not ever understand the fact that her husband was very sick and that the group of people meant well. she said things like "He is my everything" "its just me and him" which is sweet but can she see the medical perspective with multi organ malfunction, vent dependence, necrotic bowel, etc. that there is not much room to improve. Then she said "Beth I just have to hope and believe that he will get better and I cannot make negative decisions, I just can't" I told her that it is always good to expect the best but also understand the possibilities. And pointed out that this descision is never any easy one no matter how eminent death is.

I def was torn because medically there was not much hope, but spiritually there is always hope. Who am I to take away hope? Who am I to give false hope?

I am called to speak life, and create hope and hold on to God's amazing and numerous promises. Which I do, but where am I able to speak?

I am spiritually challenged. Torn.

And now that a dear friend of mine is very sick, and may have "poor prognosis" I choose to HOPE, and to BELIEVE that in Jesus' name she Will in fact be healed. And I believe it through the overwhelming doubt with my medical perspective and expect God to move and breath his breath of life into Her and help her live this life He has called her to live. It hurts. Not knowing, but yet expecting.

God help me in my unbelief, help me to gain wisdom. 

Rainy days and why one should love them..

Rainy days are most commonly considered aweful and dreary, but I beg to differ!
I love sleeping on rainy days it is hard to tell when it is time to get up!
It may be hard to find energy but get up and do something.
I love the color contrast especially in spring! of wet wood and light green!
It waters your plants for you.
washes dirt away.
Its calm and peaceful. (even if its pouring)
And who says you cant go outside and get wet! Live a little.

I haven't blogged in a while hoping to get back into it. gonna post a few pictures.

                                                                             "yo, thats brokeback!"

These are pics from a costume party, which was awesome.

wood stove

So it is super bowl sunday, and I am napping on the floor near the wood stove. This is one of my favorite places in the house! (at least during the winter)

So Today I got news that a good friend is very sick in the SICU at CCHS.
I am worried, yet trusting God ever still. She is in good hands, I trust the doctors and nurses to make good desicions. Jesus please be with her and her family, I know you are but please make yourself known in this time of uncertainty. May your peace fill them. And may she be totally and completely healed!

so if you read this please pray for my friend, and her family. Life is fragile.

New Years

So in honor of New Years I think I might meditate and figure out any resolutions for this year.

So the first one that comes to mind is the one I have been trying to do my whole life haha.
Exercise! I am going to work out at least 2 times a week. I am determined! I just want to be healthy and in shape, losing a few pounds won't hurt but not the sole reason.

The second one shall be, being more joyful and kind. I am good at this most of the time, But it is the times when it is the hardest, I feel it should come naturally. I want to be kind and loving to everyone, not just people I love and like most.

The third one I think is, which I am praying about, I want to start a bible study. I need something more then what I am doing now. (which at times is nothing) I need more of my Jesus, and more of my peoples.

There are probably other things I am thinking or wanting to do with my life this year, but for now that is it. Tell me yours if you would like. Either way I hope your New Year is truly New and exciting, and Full of love, and life, and Just Change for the better for yourself and for those around you.